My anxiety is going to make me lose my mind!

How long have we been doing this pandemic thing? Has it really been 6 months already? And counting?!

I'll be the first to admit that I am not perfect, but shit do I try to be. I want to be in control of everything and sometimes I think that means being in control of other people. Some would say that it's my upbringing by a single military father and others would say that it's my stubborn Polish and/ or Filipino roots - depends on who's talking I guess right? The real fact is though, I am a product of my life experiences and environment. We all are.

The other day I vented to one of my older clients about our younger generation. Some (yes some, not all) individuals in that younger generation can be really unmotivated and clueless. There I said it. I told my client that I was tired of thinking for them. I told my client I wanted them to think for themselves the way I did when I was their age. To which they replied - "it's hard being a leader."

Then, today I confessed to my husband that I felt bad about not having any empathy for the younger generations. Some (yes some, not all) individuals in that younger generation really need someone to take them under their wing and show them what it means to not know what they don't know. I told my husband that I think I've officially become the "bitch" woman in construction that I didn't want to be. To which he replied - "your entitled to get frustrated."

If you are on the same rollercoaster as me and if the ride just got worse with this pandemic, I can tell you that those super hard days are not a thing of the past and there will be more of those until we get back to our new normal. And by new normal, I mean that on the personal level. My personal opinion is that things are never going to go back to exactly the way they were before the pandemic, but we will learn to cope and create a life for ourselves that incorporates our tolerances and boundaries to keep ourselves emotionally, mentally and physically safe. We are at the top of the food chain for a reason - we are adaptable.

We are entitled to show ourselves some grace.

We are not perfect.

We are leaders.

We are entitled to fall apart.

We will rebuild stronger.

We are women.

For me, I have recognized that the new normal has finally starting to surface and instead of taking it for granted again, I am going to celebrate it by showing myself some grace. I am going to let go of the idea of perfection. I am going to continue to lead. I am going to allow myself to fall and I am going to be me because there is no one else out there that can do that for me.